I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
