But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
