Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just invented taco cereal.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
