Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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