hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
