some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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