My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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