i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
