Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
