Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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