At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
