I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
