I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I can't put those talents on a resume
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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