I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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