I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
