She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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