MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
