summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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