I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
