I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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