I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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