Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
