Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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