How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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