I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
