It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
