He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
