I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
