he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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