He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
