i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
