Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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