the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
