i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
