Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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