She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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