I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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