I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Small penises have feelings too.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
