I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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