we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
