i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
