seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
