Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
