I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
