I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just had sex on a roof
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
