i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
