ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
