It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
