I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she pinky promised me she was 18
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
