What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
