Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
